Huwag na huwag mo sasabihing hindi ko sinubukan. Hindi ko man ginagawa lahat, pero ginagawa ko naman lahat ng makakaya ko. At para sa akin, sapat na iyon. Pero kung sa'yo hindi pa, ewan ko na talaga. Kahit na naiinis ako tuwing sinasabi mo... pero tama ka nga siguro, "Bahala na." Bigla lang pumasok sa isip ko, best friends? Gusto mo maging best friends tayo? Eh ano ba ibig sabihin ng salitang 'yun para sa'yo?

Matagal ko ng linoloko ang sarili ko. Pero ngayon tatanggapin ko na. Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na magtiwala sa mga sinasabi mo. Natatakot ako magtiwala (ulit) sa IYO. Ayaw ko magpatalo sa takot, pero ikaw mismo gumagawa ng dahilan at nagtatanim ng takot na iyan sa akin. Oo, maling isisi sa'yo. Pero mali rin naman na isisi lang lahat sa akin.

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Never expect. If you do, you'll only be disappointed.
Always hope. Hope gives you the strength to move forward.

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I hate myself for feeling so indifferent.
The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope. - Walter Benjamin

If you were given an option to choose whether you'd like to know how or when you'd die, what would be your choice?

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As for me, I'd choose to know. And for reasons I will only reveal if needed. (Haha.) How about you, what's your answer?

Never really had the time to think things through for the past uhm... 2 years of my life. Been to busy with school work. Busy cramming, to be more specific. Cram. Cram. Cram. The moment I heard the song, familiar scenes popped into my head.

Moments when I was still in high school. When I used to spend my weekdays with four fantastic freaks who knew me better than anyone else: KJ, Cielo, Tine and Mia. When I always come in late for my first class with my hair never cooperating (but no one would really care about that). When I came home to my relatives in Balara and be greeted by my playmates Andrea and Totoy. When I watched teleseryes late at night with Tita Jenny, Tita Binay, Tito Jhun, Tito Jeff, Lola Titing and Lolo G. When I stayed up late talking to Jc over the phone. When I came home late because training was so intense. When I woke up and my body ached so much because of training. Moments when I was always thinking positive, smiling and making people smile, joking around, making people laugh and funny faces. Singing like no one was hearing me. Laughing like hell as if my life depended on it.

And I couldn't help but stare at nothingness and let me lose myself. For a moment there I thought my eyes were going to shed tears. I never really thought I'd morph into this laid-back, moody, bossy, ungrateful, frank, insensitive and serious (yes, I am serious at times) person. I guess people do eventually have to let go of the childish attitude they once had. But that isn't really a bad thing. Childish behavior and attitude, let go of it. But it wouldn't hurt if, once in a while, people would get in touch with their childhood/teenage memories and just relax.

Right now, I dont' know ME at all.
And I don't know KJ at all. (Ano na nangyari sa kanila ni Ian? Kumusta pamilya niya?)
I don't know Cielo at all. (Kumusta na ang pagiging nurse? CJ? Missy? Pamilya?)
I don't know Tine at all. (Wala na ako balita sa'yo Tine. WALA. :| )
I don't know them at all.

Since college started I never really had enough time for my family, my friends and myself. Everything was about getting good grades, meeting requirements, deadline after deadline. Thank God for sembreaks! Now I have time to spend knowing my friends once more. And to know myself again.

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Pero kahit na sabog ako for the past days(months, years?) salamat at lab pa din ako ni Papa, Mama, Cathy at Crissy. Tenkyu tenkyu Familia Arellano. Salamat din kay Ot at Cielo sa pagtetext at pag-alala sa akin. Ganito lang kasi yan. Love-able naman kasi talaga ako. Paminsan lang hindi.

Is there such thing as a religion shock? Well if there's none, then I guess I understand the term as something synonymous to culture shock. It's my mother's birthday tomorrow and she requested if we could go and worship at her church (she's a Protestant) in West Ave, QC. No problem with me really. It's not as if I have issues with other religions.

I respect their beliefs, hoping that they would do the same when it comes to mine. I do admit that I am not totally religious, and I there are things that I have yet to learn. But hey, I am giving enough effort to learn and have a clear understanding of Catholicism. I have finally come to a realization that I must NOT just accept whatever information is given to me. Hopefully, with my curiosity and urge to educate myself, I would finally able to defend my beliefs and explain why I believe in it.

Thank you to Fr. Dacanay, at least now I know that it's not so much on which vocation a person chooses, it's more on how faithful that person fulfills the responsibilities associated with that response.

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Forgive me for writing a blog of this sort. Just wanted to share the experience. It was fun songing sings and hearing the band play.

Pumunta ako sa 25th Silver Wedding Anniversary ni Madam Cristy at ni Kuya Lito ngayon. Nagparinig magulang ko. 5 years na lang daw at sila naman ang magpapakasal ulit. Diosmeh, ako na daw bahala sa kasal nila. Aysus! Hindi pa nga ako graduate may nakareserba na akong gastusin. Yes naman, go anak! Pero masaya ako para kay Mama at Papa.

Humirit pa si Mama, "Siguradong wala pa akong apo by that time."
Sagot naman si Papa: "Oo naman."

Sa akin sigurado wala pa silang apo. Ilang taon na ba ko ng 2013? 23. Sana nga wala pa. (Hehe. Not funny.) Pero ewan ko na lang sa dalawa kong kapatid.

Cathy, my very healthy sister, and I went to Trinoma last Thursday. Also met up with Jc. While we were window shopping, a guy from the WWF approached me. He was the same guy who talked to me and Mo last time I was in Trinoma. He asked me if I already signed up for WWF. I said: "Not yet." This got me into thinking, well maybe the least I could do is to check out the site and educate myself about what's happening with the world. I was really shocked when the guy told me that people in China eat pandas. I didn't know that, did you know that?

To you, who's reading this - Trust. There are still some people who you can.

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Hi Cathy! Thanks for being a great sister. For coming with me. Cool ng Artwork shirts diba?
Dapat talaga ipakita ng Pinoy ang galing na taglay. Haha.
Love you Bb (Baboy buddy)/ Cc (Copy cat)!

Hoy Jc. For the record, you told me and cathy that you'd treat us someday.
Walang limutan ah.